"i'm not old enough for this"

Book Choices

2009-12-20T09:19:00.002-05:00

In kindergarten, we're learning how to choose books we like. A lot of girls want to find books about princesses. Others want to learn about animals.

I get to work with the quirkier ones, though. One likes to find "Bleeding Books." These are where someone is bleeding or maybe has just been bleeding. She really like Shel Silverstein poems.

Another likes books with "Mean Faces." She's the class tongue-sticker-out-er and eye-roller.

Surprises from the kindergarten set

2009-12-10T18:30:00.002-05:00

Most of the time, the kindergarteners I know are pretty typical. They cry when someone steals their crayon; they need help tying their shoes; they like to tell you the love you.

Today, though, I was mightily surprised not once, but twice.

Incident #1:

During snack, I overheard one girl say, in a fake British accent, "Charlie bit me! Ouch, Charlie! That hurt!" Usually the cultural references are more Hannah Montana-related. Youtube viral videos? That's new.

Incident #2:

At dismissal, one kid who usually goes to afterschool was in the family pick-up line, and I didn't think twice about it. After her afterschool group left on their merry way, she yelled, "I need to go to afterschool!" Uh oh.

I had no idea where the group went or where the program was located, but the school aide told me they had just left and we could maybe catch up. So kindergartener and I went flying down the street, her with flailing arms and me with a pink Hannah Montana backpack. Once we got to the corner, the group was nowhere to be seen. Uh oh times two.

Luckily, kindergartener wasn't half as worried as I was. She seemed to know the way, saying things like you turn here and then go down a curve. After about 5 twists and turns down Bronx blocks, we arrived at the program. I would've been lost without her, but this kid knew her stuff. Future cartographer?

If You Like It, You Better...

2009-11-30T11:44:00.002-05:00

I often seen one of my little ones on the subway in the morning. She's in kindergarten and has speech disabilities. She's a little hard to understand and also talks super loudly.

The other day, she spotted me a few seats over. Though squished between her 8-yr-old brother and very pregnant mom, she yelled my name and tried to climb out to meet me. I didn't think that was good for our fellow passengers, so I got up and went to her.

We shook hands, and that's when she noticed my ring. Oh boy, this was exciting. She grabbed my hand, yelled at her mom, "Ring!! He got a ring!!!" and started doing the Single Ladies dance. No jokes.

Visual

2009-11-23T19:51:00.002-05:00

As you might expect, there are a lot of pictures in kindergarten and first grade. Especially when the kids can't read yet. So I spend a fair amount of my time drawing things that are, somehow, supposed to express a ton of meaning.

For a "Writing Partner" lesson, I needed to show, "Partners listen to each other and provide feedback. Partners share their writing clearly. They sit side by side. They take turns."

Sometimes, the meaning gets skewed. Like here:

If I didn't know better, I'd think this lesson was on how to stare adoringly at a friend, perhaps alienating yourself, even though she should be the one who's alienated because of her hairstyle.

When I grow up, I wanna be...

2009-11-12T21:10:00.003-05:00

Every class gets to pick a "star of the week." The star gets to do all sorts of things: wear a special ribbon, hand out papers, steal numbers off the hundreds chart. My favorite thing is the Star of the Week Interview.

It is written down and put on the wall. Hard-hitting, it covers questions like, "What's your favorite color?" and "Why are you special?"

It also asks, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Predictably, the girls' answers usually include doctor, teacher, and police officer (although that came out of nowhere from a mini, smiley kindergartener).

This week's top answer: fire truck.

When pressed, she answered that, no, she didn't want to be a firefighter. She wanted to be the truck, spraying water and everything.

Peacocks

2009-11-05T20:20:00.002-05:00

Let's face it: things got busy. Opening a charter school takes brain energy, and why post if there's nothing to note?

But today, there was something to note.

When reading a label book (you know, "tiger" is written right by a picture of a tiger), one of my grumpiest kindergarteners found a peacock. At the top of her little lungs, she shouted, "Cockbush!" It was followed up with "Lion!"

She had no idea....

Binary

2009-10-01T18:26:00.002-04:00

One first grader is new to schooling this year, so she's working hard to learn what's what. In her writing journal recently, she's been creating wonderfully illustrated stories. The text goes a little like this though:

3.11.4311.21344.

She's got the period thing down.

"I want to be God"

2009-09-30T21:27:00.002-04:00

Today we got to write about what we imagine. I imagined a school where everyone wore pajamas. First grader S wrote about summer all year. First grader A imagined the library. (?)

One student drew a house with flowers and a sun and wrote, "I want to be God." She loves church.

Tiller was a great album

2009-09-29T20:42:00.002-04:00

One kindergartener with a speech impediment (or a dental impediment...unclear which) sings "Tiller, Tiller..." and does the dance complete with zombie moves.

What do I usually look like?

2009-09-26T08:37:00.001-04:00

Yesterday a kindergartener told me I looked like a girl. A first grader told me I looked like a zebra.

Back to School Night

2009-09-24T20:28:00.001-04:00

I love meeting students' parents. The similarities are always hilarious.

Smock or Straight-jacket?

2009-09-24T20:23:00.002-04:00

Yesterday, I was in a kindergarten class learning how to play with water. My job was to figure out how to get the smock on the kids. It was harder than you might imagine.

I pulled one very pliable student to the side and had her try it on. Once I got the belt around the waist and her arms were sticking out at a 90-degree angle from her body, I lost it. I couldn't stop laughing. Neither could the other teacher, which just made things awkward. The pliable one just stood there, movement-impaired, as she pretended to play with water.

I wish I had a picture. She was a good sport.

It's an official MJ problem

2009-09-22T19:16:00.002-04:00

Overheard in kindergarten:

student 1, raising a hand: "Who gave you that necklace?"

teacher: "My friend Michael."

student 2, yelling: "Michael Jackson?!"

Seriously, you guys? What happened to Hannah Montana?

MJ part 3

2009-09-21T17:26:00.001-04:00

A different student this time wrote, when given a topic of choice, "my favorite song is Michael Jackson. He is a king of pop."

Bhangra!

2009-09-18T18:57:00.001-04:00

I went to dance today with first grade. It was fantastic.

Friday is Funday so they were learning Bhangra. There's maybe nothing better than seeing kids bobbing their heads and smiling and hopping.

Distraction

2009-09-17T20:56:00.001-04:00

The ELL (formerly known as ESL) teacher came in during writing and taught a great lesson on spelling.

After the lesson and while the little ladies were supposed to be writing about the weather, one stared intently at the new and entertaining teacher. The teacher was wearing a turtleneck.

I oversaw her stare and scrunch up her face and ask, "How'd you get your head in your shirt?" She really wanted to know.

It's Salami

2009-09-16T20:11:00.002-04:00

Kindergarten does a lot of "guided discovery." This means they learn how to use materials safely and to say "please" and "thank you" when using them.

On the bulletin boards outside the kindergarten rooms is beautiful evidence of this: construction paper (material #1) cut with scissors (#2), glued (#3) onto blank paper (#4).

The kids made collages, and the teacher asked each child what hers represented. Most of the work says, "It's my mom" or "It's me at school."

In the corner of the bulletin board, on a crumpled and ripped piece of paper, is a jumble of purple and blue, labeled "Salami."

Aggressive Hugging

2009-09-15T19:02:00.002-04:00

I remember being a kid and being aggressively hugged by adults. It was enveloping, and it was scary. Especially if the adults had boobs.

But maybe things have changed. Today, a kindergarten was aggressively hugging me. It was neither the time nor place, and I was having none of it. I told her so. She got off me and then came back for more, her head right into my boob.

For reasons unknown to me, she didn't find this scary. Instead, she poked my boob. And made a "boo" sound.

Weighted Frog

2009-09-11T20:58:00.002-04:00

I got a weighted frog this week. She's cute and fuzzy, and in her bottom is 5 lbs of beady weight.

Her name is Froggy, and she's therapeutic. I've been spending the most time with her. Most of the time she sits in my lap or on my chair, unless I'm massaging her legs to get the beady weight back where it goes. Maybe someday she'll actually be used with kids. Let's hope not. I want her to be clean.

First Grade Yogis

2009-09-10T22:37:00.003-04:00

I went to yoga with first grade today.

It was great. The kids did a mostly good job with the poses. Downward-facing dog was their favorite.

My favorite was watching them sit, which is what we've been doing since the beginning of school. Sitting. I'm not sure where they learned about yoga, but a number of them took the opportunity to sit like a cartoon, legs crossed and hands on knees, palms up and fingers in circles. Very ohm.

Unrelated to teaching...

2009-09-10T06:20:00.002-04:00

...but related to kids:

On my way to the subway home yesterday, I saw a little kid in one of those harness-leashes that is dressed up to look like a teddy bear. (I know, right?)

He was off the leash and running towards me and some scaffolding. His mom, angry, yelled out, "Yo! Where you going? You off the hook!"

"Is it lunch yet?" reprise

2009-09-08T19:17:00.003-04:00

Today was the first full day of school. Breakfast starts at 7:20, and the girls leave at 4:00. Long day for a little one.

Also, we share our school with another building of middle schoolers and yadda yadda yadda lunch is at 1:10.

The girls are 5 and 6, and they are almost always hungry. Around 11, one student meekly asked, "After recess and lunch, are we still going to be this hungry?"

Update on MJ

2009-09-04T21:10:00.001-04:00

She wrote about him in her princess journal. With crayons.

Pre-K boyfriends

2009-09-04T21:07:00.002-04:00

Duh, kids say the darndest things, but it's always eye-opening to get stories from other teachers and what they overhear. So, from another teacher:

Kindergartener 1: I had sex with my pre-k boyfriend!

Kindergartener 2: Me too!

Kindergartener 3: I had sex with my brother!

everyone: ?!

Someone needs birds and bees (or turtles, what what).

MJ

2009-09-02T23:42:00.002-04:00

One kindergartener is, as I've heard from other teachers already, obsessed with Michael Jackson. And sure enough, in my one 5-minute interaction with her, this is what ensued:

me: [sit at lunch table]
kindergartener: hey! hey! [tugging at me] you know Michael Jackson?
me: Yes.
kindergartener: He died!
me: uh huh
kindergartener: My grandma and I have a video. We watch it every night and cry.

No Boys!

2009-09-01T18:17:00.002-04:00

Everyone's new to the school (since it opened yesterday), and the kids are adjusting slightly better than the adults.

I was in and out of classrooms today and heard the following happen more than once:

Teacher: "It's time for __, boys and girls..."

Student: "We got no boys! [giggle giggle giggle]"

Who needs 'em!

"Is it lunch yet?"

2009-08-31T20:59:00.004-04:00

First day success! Minimal tears and, as far as I know, no bathroom accidents in the whole school.

All this week, the kids leave at 11:30. It's a happy way to begin the school year. And most of the instruction is about how to sit.

They really need to know how to sit. But...

Around 9:30, after an hour and a half of sitting in various places, a first grader semi-yelled at me, "Is it lunch yet? Because I've had enough."

Oh you just wait, first grader. Sitting's just the beginning.

Jitters

2009-08-30T20:38:00.001-04:00

The balloons are ready and it's the first official day of school tomorrow.

They're going to come wearing backpacks and jumpers. It'll be the cutest. And then they'll go home at 11:30.

Back 2 school is cool!

I am the tin man!

2009-08-22T14:56:00.001-04:00

My whole brain report said:

"She will most probably not be comfortable in an environment that requires her to be emotionally sensitive and show empathy."

I'm semi-devastated and am rethinking my life choices.

Field Trip!

2009-08-19T00:02:00.001-04:00

We're going to Riverdale tomorrow to do something called a Whole Brain Workshop. It might involve color coding.

Oil Spills, the book

2009-08-17T20:09:00.002-04:00

We have day-long meetings these days, and it's hard for me to sit still. I've tried weighing myself down with boxes, and that helped somewhat.

But today we got to read new books. Mine had a sad otter on the front. It was tragic.

It's a hilariously not-so-age-appropriate book about oil spills, with a clear political bent. So sad! Apparently there's an oil spill a day somewhere. And if I learned anything from Saved By The Bell, it's that ducks don't like oil spills and it's sad for everyone.

Wangari Maathai

2009-08-13T17:56:00.003-04:00

I got to sit on the floor and be read to today. It was inspiring.

Another teacher read us a kids book about Wangari Maathai, who is maybe the most amazing lady.

She was born in 1940 grew up in a village in Kenya, helping grow crops. She was a stellar student and won a scholarship to go to college in the U.S. She ended up with a Masters and then got a PhD from the University of Nairobi. This was way before Columbia accepted ladies, period.

When she returned to Kenya, there had been tons of deforestation. So she planted some trees, planted more, and got local women to plant trees themselves. Somehow in the process, she spent time in prison for causing trouble. This whole thing started the Green Belt Movement, which has now resulted in over 30 million trees being planted. 30 million!

Am I the only one who didn't know about this?

She got the Nobel Peace Prize and is now part of Kenyan Parliament.

Cheesy moment? Yes.

Inspiring? You bet.

Hello, ladies!

2009-08-12T21:19:00.002-04:00

Project!

We will open with 6 classrooms, each of which needs to be named after a special lady. Some parameters:

She must have gone to college.
She must have had a positive influence on her community or profession.
Her accomplishments must be able to be understood by 5- and 6-year-olds.
As a whole, the group needs to be ethnically diverse.

So far, I've got Majora Carter, Michelle Rhee, and Indira Gandhi.

Suggestions?

I need to doodle

2009-08-12T21:17:00.002-04:00

We have lots of meetings before school begins. I'm all for it, really. It builds school culture and sets expectations.

But I have to be on my best behavior.

This is hard for me because I can't sit still. One of our professional norms is "Be Fully Present" and I really can't.

I usually doodle, and the helps me focus. But I've been getting some sneers, so I've tried not to doodle. It doesn't work. I nod off.

Back To School

2009-08-10T18:54:00.002-04:00

On the first day of 90+ heat, my summer is officially over. And I started teaching at a new school. Eek!

It's brand new. Like first year new.

We're on a bright yellow floor in a giant middle school building. It's a typical NYC public school building, which means it has a labyrinthine system of up and down stairwells, old brass doorknobs that say "NYC Public Schools," and gigantic windows that require multiple pulleys and poles to open.

The cafeteria has scary, anthropomorphized foodstuffs painted on its walls. I hope I adjust.

So far, it's just teachers. Kids come later.

Summering

2009-07-20T10:53:00.002-04:00

You can't argue with 6 weeks of paid vacation, on top of other vacation, so I won't. But summer can be difficult.

I don't do well without routine. When I was in elementary school, I would make myself a daily schedule:

8:30 wake up
9:00 swim
10:00 snack
10:05 saved by the bell (it was on TBS)...

But so far, I have been keeping busy. For example, I have gone to IKEA twice on the water taxi. And I might go again because it's that fun. Today, I am looking forward to a trip to the hardware store and the laundromat. Adventure!

Chapter Complete

2009-06-30T18:53:00.003-04:00

Official last day. Had to say goodbye to the deli slicer... the giant spider on the ceiling... and everything else.

Hey, at least I got to be a touristy mom and document everything with my camera. And they gave me a plant.

Now that school is over...

2009-06-29T20:36:00.003-04:00

The last day with the kids was on Friday. I've avoided posting because I hate goodbyes.

On Thursday last week, the kids had their last publishing party. We invited parents (all but 3 came!) and toasted the writers with apple juice. Cheers, kids!

Once the parents left, the kids had a magical hour of enjoying books, reading to each other, and being read to. It was a free-for-all that was lovely. A teacher couldn't ask for anything more.

And then Friday came, and we inventoried the room and cleaned up. We celebrated with individual awards and a raffle of classroom posters. I got mauled by a group hug and nearly lost it. Lots of tearing up and, not wanting to be weird, holding it all back. Then the kids walked out the room, singing our goodbye song.

The thing is, I'm not coming back to the school in the fall.

It's been a tough year, and I'm looking for something new. Starting in August, I'll be teaching at an all-girls' school in the Bronx. They will wear jumpers. With patches on them.

But tomorrow is the last day for teachers. It'll be goodbye sparkly birthday crowns, goodbye dangerous art installations, goodbye large-scale puppet projects. Goodbye weird smell in the hallway. Sigh!

Gifting

2009-06-25T16:39:00.002-04:00

End of the year business, and everyone feels friendlier. So today I got a memo pad and some cereal pieces from kids.

One generous soul brought in copies of National Geographic for Kids for everyone. Very thoughtful!

She even wrote their names on the top. Unfortunately, she didn't have a roster and names are tricky to spell, so written on top...

Marcus got "Markis"

Maimuna got "My moon a"

and, my favorite: Isaacs got "E-sock"

Open Mic

2009-06-24T23:51:00.000-04:00

The teacher end-of-the-year party was tonight. Teachers getting down is sort of funny? Will write more tomorrow.

"I believe I can touch..."

2009-06-23T11:34:00.002-04:00

On our way to the mailbox outside, we saw the art teacher. She was eating a chicken drumstick.

This prompted one student to begin singing "I Believe I Can Fly," which he did for a few verses. And then it turned to:

"I believe I can touch the chicken wing. I think about it every night and day..."

...?

This Is How People Become Pundits

2009-06-22T22:55:00.002-04:00

One kid likes to think of himself as the math whiz. He will take any question and answer it. His usual tactic is to say, "I know what 1,000 times 1,000 is. It's 10 million." It gets the kids every time. So legit-sounding.

Someone tried to stump him today with, "What's 1,000 + 1,000?"

He looked up, thought a bit, and declared: "That's a good question. It's 30,000."

The questioner nodded thoughtful, totally in awe.

Signs of the Times

2009-06-20T00:19:00.003-04:00

No update on the cans yet, but our signs from two weeks ago are going strong.

Civic Success!

2009-06-18T19:19:00.002-04:00

I love teaching community activism, maybe because my activism involves angrily calling 311 when I see syringes and then just griping about it for a few weeks. Teaching about it makes me feel better.

So we've been on a "Get More Trash Cans" campaign.

Really, the neighborhood is nearly devoid of them. We went on a roughly 8-block walk and counted just 4 of them, all at one intersection.

As you might imagine, trash is everywhere in the neighborhood. And it's gross trash too. I have seen, among other things, whole raw turkeys, used condoms (many daily), and biohazard buckets.

Today, after previously posting signs and writing letters, we decided to take matters into our own hands by calling my all-time favorite, 3-1-1.

Although the 311ers on the other end of the line had to stifle their giggles, they took the requests of the students seriously. They asked the right questions, and one savvy kid responded appropriately. He said that we needed more trash cans because we only counted four; we have too much trash; and no one seems to care. So, after waiting on hold and complaining about the number of transfers we had to endure...success!

Someone will be coming by within 5 days to check out our intersection and determine whether or not we can have a trash can. We even got a confirmation number. Woo!

Totally Inappropriate

2009-06-18T19:14:00.002-04:00

Good news: Student E. earned all of his bears today, which meant a dance party!

Things were all right for a while, with everyone just bopping along in their own place. The one kid doing the worm had to sit on the sidelines.

I started to notice things going slightly haywire though when one student grabbed his crotch and then his belly, shaking the belly in front of another kid saying, "Belly dance! Belly dance!"

This might have prompted inappropriate incident #2, when a different student shimmied up to me, rubbing his rear against my leg.

only one more week of school

Story Pirates, part million

2009-06-17T21:55:00.002-04:00

Story Pirates again today! They're the best. We had a lovely outdoor performance, and then later they screened a highly creative video.

I am the best techer!

2009-06-17T06:45:00.003-04:00

Well, she knows how to format a letter.

Rainy Monday

2009-06-15T22:12:00.000-04:00

Not much to report. We had 4 kids return today after fevers galore. I wonder how many will be out tomorrow...

That lady from the King and I

2009-06-12T12:44:00.003-04:00

Today the kids' group mentality went for the cute. While lining up after lunch, the swarmed me with a group hug. Totally unwarranted, but I felt like that lady from the King and I. Particularly when I had to pick the little one off me from the back.

Teaching is Like Birth Control

2009-06-11T18:22:00.002-04:00

I enjoy kids. I really do. They're hilarious, and they need to learn so I'm happy to teach them.

But my official stance is that teaching elementary school is a form of birth control. It's not just that I don't want to deal with the runny noses and incessant questions in my off time (although I'm not sure that I do...). It's more that teaching leads to the realization of how responsible you need to be to be a parent. The selflessness required is frightening.

Sometimes, though, things are too cute. My research group had to be semi-quiet today while the other group was working on their Insect Research Books. So instead of the usual raucous puzzle-making, phonics-gaming, or block-building that happens at the end of the day, we decided to read some of our favorite books.

The kids picked Knuffle Bunny by Mo Willems. Great choice. So, for a brief 20-minute period today, I read Knuffle Bunny and Knuffle Bunny Too while the kids giggled and enjoyed and laid down on their bellies. And then they went over the top by asking to read Ezra Jack Keats's The Snowy Day. When Peter walked through the snow with his toes pointed in and then toes pointed out, I almost teared up. Almost.

This made me shudder:

2009-06-10T11:46:00.001-04:00

blue whales.

We're doing "final exams" in first grade. This involves reading books with each kid, one at a time. One book is on blue whales.

They are so big.

They are as big as 25 elephants. And a baby blue whale can gain up to 200 lbs a day.

Aaaaahhhhh. There is nothing scarier.

Overheard, Overseen at Dismissal

2009-06-09T16:33:00.003-04:00

Overheard:

"I saw a white rat. I touched it, and it hugged me."

Overseen:

Our newest class clown slapped his own butt at the end of the "Find Your Seat" song. Zing!

Standardized Testing

2009-06-09T16:32:00.003-04:00

...is the worst.

I took my own yesterday. So terrible. I understand trying to be intimidating for the sake of maintaining order, but come on. Do we have to get fingerprinted and have our passports checked?

"Field" Day

2009-06-05T21:48:00.002-04:00

It rained a lot today. So much we had to stay indoors for Field Day. No Pelham Bay Park. No field. No daylight. People had to barbecue our burgers outside in the rain.

My school is located in a renovated kosher sausage factory. It is small. Sounds reverberate.

I've never had so much stimulation, and it'll be a long time before I recover.

Green Grasshoppers

2009-06-04T18:08:00.001-04:00

For field day tomorrow, I'm in the Green Grasshoppers. Here's our cheer:

Green Grasshoppers. Green Grasshoppers. What you gonna do when we conquer you? Green Grasshoppers.

(Think "Bad Boys, Bad Boys" but with awkward syllabification.)

I don't even know...

2009-06-04T18:03:00.003-04:00

We had vision and hearing tests yesterday, and apparently nearly half my class is getting referred for more intensive vision screening. I mean, really? Plus 3 of them already have glasses.

2 kids got ominous letters home saying they "may have a hearing problem." Oh, man. Remember those tests? Maybe it was just me, but they were petrifying. I figured I'd find out I was either deaf or schizophrenic.

I think I cheated a number of times. Beep?

Blisters

2009-06-02T15:42:00.003-04:00

Today I learned that Blister Beetles have poisonous blood that oozes on their captors, causing blisters.

I also learned that glue right out of the hot glue gun will stick on you. And give you a big blister.

My forefinger is throbbing and coco helado can only help so much.

Hello, Spirit Week

2009-06-01T18:28:00.017-04:00

It's spirit week. This means all week long the kids are going to be anxious, hyped up, jittery, and on edge. This madness began today and will culminate on Friday at Pelham Bay Park. It'll be Field Day, which means we'll all get wet pants from water balloons. Better than wet pants from the alternative(s)!

Today was "Choose Your Own Way" to show spirit. My class voted on "Hats and Glasses."

I had been keeping my fingers crossed for fake noses, mustaches, and black frames. No such luck.

One of my favorites got through a loop hole in the rules. He for sure wore glasses, but the hat was a little iffy. His reasoning was that, today, his hair counted as a hat. We had to give it to him. I mean, how could you not?

I think he's been gearing up all year for this. Me, I'm just having trouble finding a somewhat professional-looking outfit for multi-color day tomorrow.

You totally had one of these in your school

2009-05-29T11:24:00.000-04:00

I just caught him in line, giving himself a wedgie and then showing it to other kids. I mean, really?

Sword of Damocles

2009-05-29T06:52:00.003-04:00

My school hearts art all over the place. There's always stuff on the walls, on stands in the middle of the hallway, and hanging down from the ceiling. Right now, here's a peek into what we have:

chrysalises hanging from the ceiling
a giant spider attached to the rafters
nationalistic umbrellas hanging from the ceiling
large-scale puppets attached to the wall (permanent installation)

and, duh duh duhn...

a huge, frighteningly sharp, sheet-metal sculpture

This huge, frighteningly sharp sheet-metal sculpture is hanging above the staircase, where a friendly box with twine around it used to be. It looks like a deli slicer and probably will slice someone any day now.

Dung Beetle

2009-05-28T18:08:00.002-04:00

Bits:

Studying the eating habits of dung beetles (i.e., they eat poop) prompted one kid to exclaim again and again, "I'm hungry!"
Another bathroom accident.
Another bloody nose.
Glue on face.
Swine flu symptoms.

Research Trip

2009-05-27T13:20:00.007-04:00

We might want to campaign for new trash cans. So we investigated how they got this awesome community center built.

We listened and learned and inquired. And we took notes.

Best of Writing

2009-05-26T12:53:00.003-04:00

"Me and my mom was home. We were woching the golden girls. It was very, very funny!"

"My dad was sad because my dog was bleeting in the tail."

"On that sunny Sunday, me and my mom were going to Manhattan. There was 2 clouds, 1 sun, and 1 house."

"I had a good sleep last night. Ontil a man screemed like this 'aaaawh aaaaawh.' I said in my mind, 'be quiet man. Some people are trying to sleep here.'"

Happy Memorial Day

2009-05-25T09:09:00.001-04:00

vacation!

Smallness

2009-05-23T08:37:00.001-04:00

I usually forget how small my students are. But then I'll have to help with a broken belt buckle or help button up pants. They are so small. They weigh like 50 pounds.

Fingers and Toes

2009-05-21T16:22:00.002-04:00

It's not always easy to tell why you would count by 10, or 5, or 2. So we started at almost square one: fingers and toes.

This involved me standing barefoot during math. One kid counted my toes while another kid counted my feet. Eew.

And I had a moment thinking, "wtf do I do all day..."

That didn't last long because we had to hold hands and count.

"Ants Are Cannibals"

2009-05-20T22:08:00.002-04:00

Insect update:

The butterflies have all emerged from their chrysalises. Two already died. Two from the other class already mated. Oo la la!

The mealworms and beetles are all over the place. Some are still mealworms; some are in the pupa stage; some are beetles. The beetles are starting to eat the mealworms. Something--maybe swine flu?--hit the pupa, which are dropping off like flies. One even had a hold in its head.

Smells Fishy

2009-05-19T11:42:00.003-04:00

Two related bits:

1. The kid who wanted to sleep in the Mouse House exclaimed today, regarding the classroom, "I want to sleep in here!" Is that his way of expressing enjoyment?

2. The classroom stinks to high heaven on warm days. You walk in and get a blast of what I can only assume is dead animal.

Puts these two together and I just don't know.

P.S. I'm starting a campaign for saying, "I want to sleep in here!" whenever I like a place. The movies, art exhibits, the kitchen. Who's on board?

One-eyed Stick Figures

2009-05-18T11:46:00.002-04:00

One student consistently draws people as stick figures with one eye and a smile. The eye is on the left side of the face. Every time.

First Grade Besties

2009-05-17T15:16:00.003-04:00

Most first graders have assorted friends. But not everyone has a best friend.

Best friends are special. They are each other's number 1, all the time, even when they get in fights. I had one (what's up, MCB!) and it made first grade a blast. But now I know why we were split up for second grade.

Bestfriendships are oddly unhealthy.

Usually, best friends are eerily similar. I have had 3 bestfriendships in my classes over the past few years: two boys O and N, two girls J and T, and boy and girl M and N. At first glance, the friends seem different--loud vs. shy, friendly vs. awkward, boy vs. girl. But after a few weeks in one classroom, the similarities come out, loud and clear.

O and N, from last year's class, were bizarre, creative thinkers. They were bright and independent. No doubt, they both had fascinating interior monologues continuously running. And they loved each other. They needed each other. I remember a trip to the park last year, when N was building an anthill and O was in the grass a few feet over. N just yelled and yelled, "I need you! I need you!" O didn't want to help. It went on for a bit.

J and T, also from last year, were tomboys who were a little behind academically. They cared for each other, helping with scraped knees and tying shoes. They were also mischievous. When studying insects last year, one stole a chrysalis as a butterfly was emerging. We never got the story straight because they wouldn't break from backing each other up. They both took the rap for killing a crumpled-up butterfly as it was metamorphing. That's love.

And this year, M and N are the power duo. They both have neat handwriting, great math skills, and silly attitudes. They sit next to each other almost all day, and whenever we make partnerships, we have to keep them together. They're just too sweet. But then the other day, M showed N his underwear. So, sigh...it had to happen some time.

What's so striking to me is that these best friends pick don't pick each other because they share mutual interests ("hey, I like robots too!") but because of the types of people they are.

Tidbits from Zoo Day

2009-05-14T15:23:00.004-04:00

I can't believe it's only 3:30. Tidbits:

In a visit to the dark, stinky Mouse House, one student loudly proclaimed, "I want to sleep here."
We saw a python eating a rat.
It rained nearly the whole time. Which prompted nearly synchronized outbursts of "umbrella, ella, ella, etc." on a few occasions.
One kid was sort of the grandpa from Forget Paris on the bus, and he kept reading signs and commenting. Endearing.

Threat of Pinkeye

2009-05-13T22:08:00.001-04:00

Kids have two trump cards:

1. bathroom emergencies
2. pinkeye

And they know it.

States of Confusion

2009-05-12T15:56:00.002-04:00

There's a lot to be confused about in first grade--when is recess? how do caterpillars turn into butterflies? what makes up a family?--and sometimes teachers make it worse.

In math right now, the kids are taking an inventory of classroom materials. They need to figure out how many pencils, colored bears, geometrical shape blocks, etc., we have. This calls for organization at the very least, and an understanding of a number system based on 10 at the most. Fingers crossed, in a couple days we're going to discover place value. Mystery revealed!

In the meantime, there is hilarious and purposeful confusion all around. One group is organizing some books, and they can't decide if there are 34, 35, or 36 of them. Maybe because their tactic is to spread them around and hop from one to the other counting out loud....

Another group is counting shells, and they organized by making a triangle with 1 at the bottom, then 2, then 3, upward to 12. Maybe they're better at math than I am, but that took some thinking on my end.

Two groups are definitely on the right track. One was working with popsicle sticks and made tally marks out of them. Four sticks squished together parallel with one stick intersecting.

The other group had pencils, and they put them in 5s. But they really wanted to do tens but didn't have a way to put them together. They demanded rubber bands. Which we didn't have. So they ran around and got some tape and made do.

Sick Day

2009-05-11T20:36:00.003-04:00

Everyone said that I would build up my immune system so much in the first year of teaching that I'd never get sick again.

Not true.

I need to learn my lesson and just refuse to touch hands or pencils that have been in mouths. End of story.

Fingers crossed it's not the bird flu. Last week, one of my students told me to watch out. He suggested getting a face mask. Maybe he was right.

Teacher Appreciation Week

2009-05-08T17:55:00.002-04:00

In an effort to boost teacher morale, my school opted to celebrate Teacher Appreciation Day for the first time ever.

It was thoughtful. We got a 15-minute break to eat snacks while the Literacy Coach read a book to the kids. When we came back, they had not only read a book but had written us a letter. Apparently the kids appreciate all that we do for them. New vocab (appreciate) usage! wooo!

The outcome of this as been more hugs than usual in first grade. Random hugs are undoubtedly cute, but I am pretty immune to them at this point and would usually rather the kid get in line or get back to reading.

But I even got a scented candle from a student today, and I really do appreciate it! It will go next to my teacher collection of snow globes.

Unfortunately, I've let this go to my head. All week, I got so used to being given hugs and drawings and stuff that I almost stole someone's picture today. I assumed she gave it to me. She was confused when I took it. We both felt sheepish.

Things That Make Us Sad

2009-05-07T17:27:00.003-04:00

We went on a community walk yesterday to learn what is in the community (ooh firehouse, ooh post office, ooh barber shop).

Little do the kids know, this is going to morph into a unit about social change, bureaucracy, and democracy. Hopefully we will write letters and advocate for ourselves.

But in the meantime, the kids had to take notes about what they saw in the neighborhood. Armed with clipboards, they walked along and jotted down things like, "dog poop" and "tree" and "bodega" and "my cousin."

Today we organized our notes into categories. To be expected, categories included "places to get food" and "places people work at." But then one of the smallest students, the one who hops and giggles, said in her small voice that we needed a category of "things that make us sad."

Everyone agreed. So far, the list includes garbage and broken glass. I'm glad it doesn't have other things on it yet.

Sigh.

But who knows? Maybe we'll get more trash cans and convince the city to collect the garbage regularly. Letters from six year olds can be very persuasive.

Something Afoot

2009-05-06T12:32:00.002-04:00

Today was a red-letter day for the footbridge. An incomplete inventory:

1 poops

1 sock (15-20 feet away)

1 hypodermic needle

Something, or someone, is clearly afoot on the bridge.

Everyone loves a birthday crown

2009-05-05T22:12:00.003-04:00

In movies and in my memory, elementary school was a goofy place to be. Now I know that all the songs were to teach us things we didn't want to learn, and the dress-up days were to keep us interested enough to keep coming back.

But sometimes it's undeniably just for fun.

Like birthdays. Understandably enough, we celebrate the kids' birthdays. They get sparkly birthday crowns, but usually we regulate any sort of celebrate to lunch and recess and no other time. If we don't forget, we'll sing the birthday song. We sternly cut back on the extra verses.

By natural extension to the celebration, we get to celebrate adult birthdays just as--if not more--enthusiastically. And who wouldn't love it? My last birthday crown, from over 7 months ago, is still in my bedroom.

Today was maybe the teacher birthday of all birthdays though. It was the art teacher's, and she went all out. She had a gold personally-crafted crown, arm bands, and an armor-like breast plate. Happy Birthday indeed!

Non Sequitur

2009-05-04T18:58:00.002-04:00

I hate wasting time. In meetings, I hate getting off track. At the grocery, I hate waiting at the deli counter.

Sometimes that means I'm heartless.

One of my students loves to let his mind wander. He is hilarious and creative, but--wow--he is unproductive. Today, he had to think of a new story to write.

Due to complications with allergies and pinkeye, he was seated in the front office near the receptionist, trying to get his work done. I popped by every once in a while to see how it was going.

It wasn't going well. I knelt down by him, for my 60-second teaching moment before I had to head back to class. Here's what went down:

Me: What are you writing about today?

Student: I'm not. I can't think.

Me: Well, did anything interesting happen over the weekend?

Student: Not really. I'm gonna die.

Me: Hmm, let's think of a story topic.

Student: It's true though. I'm gonna die.

Me: Mm-hmm.

Student: Aren't you sad?

Me: No, that's just what happens. Let's get back to work.

Dance Party Fridays

2009-05-01T22:32:00.002-04:00

I got elbowed in the face during Dance Party Friday, morning edition.

It's gotten out of hand. We started pretty calm at the beginning of the year, with your disco points and everything, but now we've got attempts at break dancing and overtly sexual awkwardnesses. One of my favorite dancers--the one who hops and giggles--didn't even know what to do when it was her turn. She tried something semi-breakdance, semi-shimmy until she gave up and bunny hopped around the circle.

Things just aren't what they used to be.

...before lunch

2009-04-30T11:30:00.004-04:00

We had:

-two cases of pinkeye

-one issue of diarrhea

-one constipation issue

-one fast-growing skin allergy

Clay Thingy

2009-04-29T22:07:00.001-04:00

Uh oh.

During art class, the kids were using brown clay. One kid, allegedly, made a penis out of clay and put it on his pants. He sneakily got others to peak.

Oh, sigh.

Stripping and Molting

2009-04-28T15:29:00.003-04:00

Today we did the molting dance.

This is when you pretend to come out of your larval exoskeleton, after you ate too much and got too big for it. You wiggle and wiggle.

Scanning the room, I thought it was pretty cute.

And then I saw evidence of serious miscommunication: one student, belly exposed past the button, had her arm in her shirt and was about it take it off. Yikes stripes!

Unexpected skin exposure never goes over well. Too many squeals to handle before lunch.

Who let the leaves out?!

2009-04-27T20:16:00.002-04:00

On Friday, a fiber artist began her residency in first grade. We'll be making a soft-sculpture butterfly garden with all sorts of life cycle information.

While cutting out fabric in the shape of leaves, one kid started singing:

"Who let the leaves out? Leaf! Leaf! Leaf! Leaf! Who let the leaves out?" etc.

I can totally relate. Songs with lyrics changed to match your activity are the best.

And especially when you go a little counterintuitive. I mean, someone boring and normal would've said, "Who let the leaves out? Who? Who? Who? Who?" Not this kid. He knows what's up.

Ringworms and Mealworms

2009-04-27T16:09:00.002-04:00

Not really a worm #1:

Second ringworm outbreak of the year = ... adventure? And how does it end up on kids' heads? Checking for ringworm plus lice is too much for one scalp.

Not really a worm #2:

I didn't know what mealworms were until I started teaching. You buy them in bulk at Petco, and they tell you to refrigerate them. But if you don't...duh duh duhn...they go through their whole life cycle and become Darkling Beetles. Which look like roaches.

Last week, I picked up this year's set. Yay.

You put them in a critter cage with some oats and stuff and then watch as the mass of oats slowly and almost imperceptibly moves around and wiggles. If you're lucky and you're the teacher, you get to reach in and pull some out to study. If it's an awesome day, you might even get some molted skin.

I heard a rumor once of a teacher who has a self-generating aquarium full of them. Some in the mealworm stage, some in the gnarly white pupa stage, and some beetles...that look like roaches.

Sock on the Footbridge

2009-04-23T16:09:00.002-04:00

Ok, so the footbridge again. It's not really teaching-related, but it's got bodily fluids, so I figured...hey.

The other day I saw two turds coming out of a sock on my way to work. Two human poops, one sock, and a host of questions.

It was still there in the afternoon, but with one poop.

Kind of Like Twitter

2009-04-22T15:17:00.003-04:00

6-year-olds produce really urgent-sounding sound bites. They usually start with, "Can I tell you something?!" and begin before I can attempt a response. At the end of the day, here was the newsfeed:

"My dog is picking me up on Friday!"

"My grandma is in the hospital. Her legs got cut!"

"I got juice in my backpack! Juicy, juicy, juicy."

"My brother is going to capoeira!"

"My mom always helps me!"

This was in rapid-fire succession. They must've been holding it in all day. like me!

M-O-M is mom

2009-04-22T11:31:00.002-04:00

Overhead, to himself, in writing:

"M-O-M is 'mom'! That's crazy. Crazy. And D-A-D is 'dad'! Crazy, see?"

Wait until he hears about "a man, a plan, a canal...panama."

Small Moment Stories

2009-04-21T15:47:00.001-04:00

First grade is all about the personal narrative. We teach "small moment" stories, where you stretch out in sometimes agonizing detail a particular part of your day.

One student started his day at the beginning, when he took a bath. And then he ran with it. By page two, he was getting out of the tub, putting on loshen, and greasing up in baby oil. "It's greasy."

Love the detail. Maybe TMI.

Blin Blin

2009-04-20T11:46:00.003-04:00

Woohoo spring break stories! I'm just grading the kids' homework packet and came across this journal entry:

"On Thursday my mom went to a store to by our spring close. My close had blin blin on it."

It's complete with a sketch labeled BlinBlin and blinblin.

Bathroom Privileges for Grown Ups

2009-04-19T12:24:00.002-04:00

Spring break is over.

I tend to get preparation anxiety stress on Sundays, but this week it's worse than usual. Getting back to the grind, for teachers, means having to regulate your liquid intake in ways that you wouldn't expect. One of the major stressors involved in teaching is not being able to pee.

It's something you don't consider when you're a kid, squirming around and raising your hand, waiting to be allowed to use the bathroom. Teachers can't just go when we need to. Oof.

Teaching's not the only job like this, for sure. Bus drivers, I always thought, had it rough. Maybe they wear Depends? Maybe I should...

Like the Post Office

2009-04-13T12:08:00.002-04:00

I nearly stepped on a blood-filled hypodermic needle on my way to work the other morning.

I called 311 to report it--I mean, little kids walk this route to and from school every day, and who knows what they like to pick up--and the fallout was a comedy of bureaucratic errors.

The first few people I talked to didn't know what to do with me, since my problem didn't have to do with alternate-side parking rules. So I got transferred to the Dirty Sidewalks Division.

At first, I protested. I mean, dirty sidewalks says to me, hey come with a broom and sweep up a bit. But picking up bloody needles, in my mind, requires sturdy gloves, antiviral medication, and a bio-hazard bin. Which got me thinking about the last time I 311-ed something in the area. That time, it was a bio-hazard bin, just sitting on the sidewalk. Then, the Dirty Sidewalks Division delivered. After initial protesting, they picked it up. I reconsidered and decided the Division could handle the needle.

Next came the "Now where is this needle?" conversation. Well, the needle was on a footbridge overpass, over one highway and below another. It's a secluded area, which explains the needle, and it creates quite the convenient shortcut for my commute. I tried to explain this. I confused my 311er so thoroughly that I had to get transferred again, this time to somebody near a computer. This person wanted cross streets. I explained it was an overpass, not a street. This didn't go over well.

"What street is it on?"
"It's not a street. It's an overpass footbridge."
"Then what street is it on?"
"It's not, but it's coming off of [street] and it goes over [street]."
"Those two don't intersect!"
"I know. That's why there's an overpass."
"But they don't intersect."
(Loop it a few times.)
"I need to pick up my students from the cafeteria."
"Ok. We'll work on it."

Next time I see a bio-hazard bin, I'm not going to report it. I'll keep it on hand, just in case.

...hiatus...

2009-04-09T10:26:00.001-04:00

Spring break! Be back next, next week.

Poetry Jam

2009-04-08T15:50:00.003-04:00

So...slightly thrown together. I mean, what else are we supposed to do the day before spring break? You might recognize the punchline.

Overheard and Overseen

2009-04-07T15:20:00.004-04:00

Overheard with student:

"When I read, I get hot."

"What kind of books are you reading?"

"Little Jack."

Overseen during a lesson at the rug:

Student pulls up his t-shirt, slaps his back, then licks his palm. He saw me looking at him and looked back, guiltily.

Bespectacled

2009-04-06T18:48:00.002-04:00

I love kids in glasses.

In the first grade, kids who need glasses typically wear them, which can't be said of the older set. Some of them, probably those with plain jane wire frame ones, will suffer through their myopia before wearing their 3rd and 4th eyes.

But in first grade, glasses are so in. We have a large number of bespectacled students this year. I'd like to think it's because I wear them and, being cool teacher, I have tons of influence. But their glasses are way cooler than mine. Mine are put together with a paperclip and scotch tape. At least I have company in that department because student M. is in the same boat. That makes me feel better (but maybe should make me feel worse?).

Thick framed hipster glasses are totally in. One kid has thick black ones, and she sits next to someone with thick red ones (which have that magical lens that turns into sunglasses). They sit across the table from someone who just got reading glasses. This is too cute. She puts them on when she reads, and they fall to the end of her nose so she ends up looking like a lady librarian. Those are maybe my favorite.

Multimedia

2009-04-05T21:20:00.004-04:00

An improbably long time.

Story Pirates!

Best of Arts Week Finale...

2009-04-03T18:18:00.002-04:00

...hands down goes to the kindergarten Flamenco group.

serious music + 5 year olds boys in construction paper hats = almost as good as the story pirates

Update on Doc

2009-04-03T18:14:00.002-04:00

Our performance art doc premiered this morning. It went over well. I am angry at the computer and am still trying to figure out how to youtube it.

Turns out 5th and 6th graders are much more into filming than editing.

Poems Inspired By Arts Week

2009-04-03T11:26:00.003-04:00

100% student written.

POEM 1:

"Hipop"

hip hop is a

Fun thing

to do

I tried to

do a

spin on

my head

POEM 2:

"Olay!"

the k-kid got mest up

Olay!

the little k-kid

shook her hips

Olay!

"I'm happy"

Olay!

POEM 3:

"untitled"

egg

cracks

I take the egg

to its mommy

crack

*snap snap snap*