Chapter Complete

Official last day. Had to say goodbye to the deli slicer... the giant spider on the ceiling... and everything else.

Hey, at least I got to be a touristy mom and document everything with my camera. And they gave me a plant.

Now that school is over...

The last day with the kids was on Friday. I've avoided posting because I hate goodbyes.

On Thursday last week, the kids had their last publishing party. We invited parents (all but 3 came!) and toasted the writers with apple juice. Cheers, kids!

Once the parents left, the kids had a magical hour of enjoying books, reading to each other, and being read to. It was a free-for-all that was lovely. A teacher couldn't ask for anything more. 

And then Friday came, and we inventoried the room and cleaned up. We celebrated with individual awards and a raffle of classroom posters. I got mauled by a group hug and nearly lost it. Lots of tearing up and, not wanting to be weird, holding it all back. Then the kids walked out the room, singing our goodbye song.

The thing is, I'm not coming back to the school in the fall.

It's been a tough year, and I'm looking for something new. Starting in August, I'll be teaching at an all-girls' school in the Bronx. They will wear jumpers. With patches on them.

But tomorrow is the last day for teachers. It'll be goodbye sparkly birthday crowns, goodbye dangerous art installations, goodbye large-scale puppet projects. Goodbye weird smell in the hallway. Sigh!

Gifting

End of the year business, and everyone feels friendlier. So today I got a memo pad and some cereal pieces from kids. 

One generous soul brought in copies of National Geographic for Kids for everyone. Very thoughtful!

She even wrote their names on the top. Unfortunately, she didn't have a roster and names are tricky to spell, so written on top...

Marcus got "Markis"

Maimuna got "My moon a"

and, my favorite: Isaacs got "E-sock"

Open Mic

The teacher end-of-the-year party was tonight. Teachers getting down is sort of funny? Will write more tomorrow.

"I believe I can touch..."

On our way to the mailbox outside, we saw the art teacher. She was eating a chicken drumstick. 

This prompted one student to begin singing "I Believe I Can Fly," which he did for a few verses. And then it turned to:

"I believe I can touch the chicken wing. I think about it every night and day..."

...?

This Is How People Become Pundits

One kid likes to think of himself as the math whiz. He will take any question and answer it. His usual tactic is to say, "I know what 1,000 times 1,000 is. It's 10 million." It gets the kids every time. So legit-sounding.

Someone tried to stump him today with, "What's 1,000 + 1,000?"

He looked up, thought a bit, and declared: "That's a good question. It's 30,000."

The questioner nodded thoughtful, totally in awe.

Signs of the Times

No update on the cans yet, but our signs from two weeks ago are going strong.

Civic Success!

I love teaching community activism, maybe because my activism involves angrily calling 311 when I see syringes and then just griping about it for a few weeks. Teaching about it makes me feel better.

So we've been on a "Get More Trash Cans" campaign. 

Really, the neighborhood is nearly devoid of them. We went on a roughly 8-block walk and counted just 4 of them, all at one intersection. 

As you might imagine, trash is everywhere in the neighborhood. And it's gross trash too. I have seen, among other things, whole raw turkeys, used condoms (many daily), and biohazard buckets.

Today, after previously posting signs and writing letters, we decided to take matters into our own hands by calling my all-time favorite, 3-1-1.

Although the 311ers on the other end of the line had to stifle their giggles, they took the requests of the students seriously. They asked the right questions, and one savvy kid responded appropriately. He said that we needed more trash cans because we only counted four; we have too much trash; and no one seems to care. So, after waiting on hold and complaining about the number of transfers we had to endure...success!

Someone will be coming by within 5 days to check out our intersection and determine whether or not we can have a trash can. We even got a confirmation number. Woo!

Totally Inappropriate

Good news: Student E. earned all of his bears today, which meant a dance party!

Things were all right for a while, with everyone just bopping along in their own place. The one kid doing the worm had to sit on the sidelines. 

I started to notice things going slightly haywire though when one student grabbed his crotch and then his belly, shaking the belly in front of another kid saying, "Belly dance! Belly dance!"

This might have prompted inappropriate incident #2, when a different student shimmied up to me, rubbing his rear against my leg. 

only one more week of school

Story Pirates, part million

Story Pirates again today! They're the best. We had a lovely outdoor performance, and then later they screened a highly creative video.

I am the best techer!

Well, she knows how to format a letter.

Rainy Monday

Not much to report. We had 4 kids return today after fevers galore. I wonder how many will be out tomorrow...

That lady from the King and I

Today the kids' group mentality went for the cute. While lining up after lunch, the swarmed me with a group hug. Totally unwarranted, but I felt like that lady from the King and I. Particularly when I had to pick the little one off me from the back.

Teaching is Like Birth Control

I enjoy kids. I really do. They're hilarious, and they need to learn so I'm happy to teach them. 

But my official stance is that teaching elementary school is a form of birth control. It's not just that I don't want to deal with the runny noses and incessant questions in my off time (although I'm not sure that I do...). It's more that teaching leads to the realization of how responsible you need to be to be a parent. The selflessness required is frightening.

Sometimes, though, things are too cute. My research group had to be semi-quiet today while the other group was working on their Insect Research Books. So instead of the usual raucous puzzle-making, phonics-gaming, or block-building that happens at the end of the day, we decided to read some of our favorite books. 

The kids picked Knuffle Bunny by Mo Willems. Great choice. So, for a brief 20-minute period today, I read Knuffle Bunny and Knuffle Bunny Too while the kids giggled and enjoyed and laid down on their bellies. And then they went over the top by asking to read Ezra Jack Keats's The Snowy Day. When Peter walked through the snow with his toes pointed in and then toes pointed out, I almost teared up. Almost.

 

This made me shudder:

blue whales.

We're doing "final exams" in first grade. This involves reading books with each kid, one at a time. One book is on blue whales.

They are so big.

They are as big as 25 elephants. And a baby blue whale can gain up to 200 lbs a day.

Aaaaahhhhh. There is nothing scarier.

Overheard, Overseen at Dismissal

Overheard:

"I saw a white rat. I touched it, and it hugged me."

Overseen:

Our newest class clown slapped his own butt at the end of the "Find Your Seat" song. Zing! 

Standardized Testing

...is the worst.

I took my own yesterday. So terrible. I understand trying to be intimidating for the sake of maintaining order, but come on. Do we have to get fingerprinted and have our passports checked?

"Field" Day

It rained a lot today. So much we had to stay indoors for Field Day. No Pelham Bay Park. No field. No daylight. People had to barbecue our burgers outside in the rain.

My school is located in a renovated kosher sausage factory. It is small. Sounds reverberate.

I've never had so much stimulation, and it'll be a long time before I recover.

Green Grasshoppers

For field day tomorrow, I'm in the Green Grasshoppers. Here's our cheer:

Green Grasshoppers. Green Grasshoppers. What you gonna do when we conquer you? Green Grasshoppers. 

(Think "Bad Boys, Bad Boys" but with awkward syllabification.)

I don't even know...

We had vision and hearing tests yesterday, and apparently nearly half my class is getting referred for more intensive vision screening. I mean, really? Plus 3 of them already have glasses.

2 kids got ominous letters home saying they "may have a hearing problem." Oh, man. Remember those tests? Maybe it was just me, but they were petrifying. I figured I'd find out I was either deaf or schizophrenic.

I think I cheated a number of times. Beep?

Blisters

Today I learned that Blister Beetles have poisonous blood that oozes on their captors, causing blisters.

I also learned that glue right out of the hot glue gun will stick on you. And give you a big blister. 

My forefinger is throbbing and coco helado can only help so much.

Hello, Spirit Week

It's spirit week. This means all week long the kids are going to be anxious, hyped up, jittery, and on edge.  This madness began today and will culminate on Friday at Pelham Bay Park. It'll be Field Day, which means we'll all get wet pants from water balloons. Better than wet pants from the alternative(s)!

Today was "Choose Your Own Way" to show spirit. My class voted on "Hats and Glasses." 

I had been keeping my fingers crossed for fake noses, mustaches, and black frames. No such luck. 

One of my favorites got through a loop hole in the rules. He for sure wore glasses, but the hat was a little iffy. His reasoning was that, today, his hair counted as a hat. We had to give it to him. I mean, how could you not? 

I think he's been gearing up all year for this. Me, I'm just having trouble finding a somewhat professional-looking outfit for multi-color day tomorrow.